Books

“My House”

I just so happen to be a guest on the Fix-It Up Show (https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-fix-it-up-show)on 600 WREC.  As a funny happenstance, one of the calls we received on the show involved how to get a family of raccoons out of his attic.  The normal advice is to make the attic less that welcoming.  Add lights, noise, interruptions, smells like vinegar and sooner or later – they will move out.  Repair the damage and keep them out.

Years ago, I wrote a very popular story about a poor young man who purchases a home in Memphis that already has a fuzzy resident.  Needless to say, misadventures ensue.  Check it out for yourself here:
http://www.darkoakpress.com/pdf/ch01myhouse.pdf

Dive into your Summer reading with great expectations and enjoy.

http://www.darkoakpress.com/allanstory.html
http://www.darkoakpress.com
https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-fix-it-up-show
http://www.geektankradio.com 
http://www.cafepress.com/gtrmerchandise

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZeqwiRmndPqhU_ifBYuvfg

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Shorts for Summer

The heat is here thus it must be Summer.  Short stories are the perfect reading material for the season.  You can wrap up a story in a single sitting and still enjoy more work be the same author.  To jump things off, here is our latest YouTube entry in the It’s All About Writing series.

allanfcoverxlgNext, here is the link to my short story collection.  You really need to buy a copy for yourself.  Here is the blurb pitch:

Discover 19 extraordinary stories ranging from dark fantasy to science fiction and steampunk. Allan Gilbreath has created a stimulating collection of possessed raccoons, doubtful demons, secret potions, Hellish mornings, murderous black holes, dangerous missions, miniature dragons, fake vampires, real ducks, and a cranky detective. This collection showcases Allan’s astounding attention to detail and the sensual imagery his works are famous for.

http://www.darkoakpress.com/allanstory.html

http://www.darkoakpress.com
https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-fix-it-up-show

http://www.geektankradio.com 
http://www.cafepress.com/gtrmerchandise

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZeqwiRmndPqhU_ifBYuvfg

 

Finally, I am going to give away a massive free sample of why shorts are so much Summer fun:

Afternoon Lemonade

In spite of modern conveniences such as air conditioning, it is a long-standing Southern tradition to endure the late summer heat in person. The more mature folks suffer the fading afternoon from their porch chairs and swings. They sit; some actually swing and sip iced tea with a sprig of mint or lemonade made from real lemons. The average conversation is a brilliant exercise in minimalism while beads of condensation languidly form on the ice-filled glasses. The air is filled to the point of bursting with the call of the annual cicadas. It’s a pervasive sound that seems to emanate from every direction at once leaving the listener with no avenue for escape. The teenagers find that loitering in groups in the parking lots of grocery stores or fast food restaurants works for them as well as the porch swings of their elders.

The hard thumping of heavy bass crossed the expansive yard to the slightly frowning faces of the older generation. The teens sat on the hoods and trunks of their cars parked on the side of the road at the end of the driveway. They drank sodas and smoked cigarettes while they held their private conversations masked by the roar of the radios.

“Did y’all attend the parent’s meeting this afternoon?” asked Ms. Prunella from the swing, seated next to her husband of many decades. Ms. Prunella sipped gingerly at her iced tea taking care not to smudge her carefully applied lipstick. Her blued hair still held its carefully coifed style as she swung lightly. Its weekly update at the local beauty shop held up to the heat and humidity. Her son and his wife sat across from her and G’pa George. They all had dressed in appropriately cool linens and cottons. Their light colored clothing contrasted with the familiar black standard of the modern teenagers at the roadside.

“We did, Ms. Prunella.” Ms. Mary Ellen responded. “The vote was unanimous. All the parents agreed with you and G’pa George. It’s time all the parents had that special talk with the teenagers.”

“Bout time,” was G’pa George’s contribution to the conversation.

“Did you make sure that everyone had the proper recipe?” Ms. Prunella asked.

“Yes ma’am. Robert was a dear, and made a copy at work for everyone. He handed them out after the vote.” Ms. Mary Ellen patted her husband politely on the knee, and smiled lovingly at him. He smiled and nodded back.

“It is plain time to explain life to these children before they get themselves into…” Ms. Prunella paused as she searched her aged mind for the proper euphemism. She nodded as she found the word, “complications of a family nature.”

All four of the adults nodded in agreement, and continued to swing for a few minutes while the radios pumped their rhythmic noise from the roadside. Ms. Mary Ellen finally broke the silence. “Robert will have our talk with Betsy Sue tomorrow afternoon when she gets home from school. It is Friday, tomorrow, after all. Betsy Sue will have time to… umm… think about everything over the weekend.”

“Bout time,” G’pa George’s chimed in the final word on the topic.

*****

Betsy Sue kissed Donnie heavily and passionately for several minutes before breaking free of the desperate lip lock. She looked deeply into his eyes and said, “Pick me up about 7. The folks want to have some kind of family dinner tonight.”

“Sounds good, my folks want to do the same. I wonder what the old people are all up too. Must be about graduation coming up.”

“Must be.” Betsy Sue agreed as she kissed him quickly and got out of the car. She bumped the door closed with her hip, and waved to him as the car pulled away. She began walking up the drive. As she looked towards the house, she could see her parents already out on one of the swings. Betsy Sue groaned to herself and rolled her eyes. If her father had come home early from work that meant they wanted to talk to her about something. Normally, it would be something she had no intention talking to them about. They had already fought about the way she dressed, the music she liked, dating boys, staying out late, smoking cigarettes, and nearly every other topic under the sun. “What’s up?” Betsy Sue asked suspiciously as she reached the porch steps.

“Your mother and I wanted to have a few words with you before dinner.” Robert answered calmly in a very pleasant tone of voice.

Betsy Sue looked into his eyes. She didn’t see that parental look. Instead, both of her parents looked rather pleased with themselves. Betsy Sue remained cautious. It can never be a good thing for a teenager when both your parents look pleased with themselves.

“Put your books down and have a seat.” Robert said pointing to the empty swing across from them. Betsy Sue did as requested, still eyeing the both of them suspiciously.

“Here dear.” Ms. Mary Ellen said as she held out a cold glass of lemonade to her daughter. Betsy Sue accepted the glass and took a deep sip. Heavy necking left one a bit parched. Her parents smiled even larger.

“Betsy Sue, you will be graduating soon. Your mother and I just wanted you to know that we are proud of you.” Robert reached over and squeezed Ms. Mary Ellen’s hand. Maybe this talk would be about a car, or trip, or other fabulous graduation present. Betsy Sue took another long sip of her lemonade. If she didn’t know better, she would swear that this drink had just a little kick to it.

“We have come to realize that you are not a little girl anymore. You are nearly a grown young lady and deserve to be treated as such.” More hand squeezing and proud looks as Betsy Sue took another sip. She didn’t want to rush them. She knew they would get to the point sooner or later. “However, dear,” Ms Mary Ellen inserted, “we feel that you need to behave like a young lady, before we can, in all good conscious, treat you like one.” Ah ha, Betsy Sue rolled her eyes. Here we go again. They would never figure out that this was her life, and she would do as she saw fit and if they didn’t… like… it.

She lost her train of thought for a moment. She had started getting up a head of steam about something. She looked at her parents. They seemed to be staring expectantly at her. Oh yes, they… argument… her life… graduation. Betsy Sue shook her head. Maybe it was the heat. She took another sip of the cool lemonade. Yup, she had to be right. This lemonade had a little kick to it. Her mother’s voice wandered in from the lemonade-induced fog.

“You see, Betsy Sue, we and all the parents in town agree, we can’t have our children running around poorly dressed, smoking cigarettes, and driving fast with all that loud music.”

“It is time for all of our young adults to be grown up and act properly,” added her father. Betsy Sue’s head swam. Her legs lost all feeling. Her tongue wouldn’t work. She watched her mother take the glass from her hand. Eventually, her grandmother came into view. Strangely, she seemed to be looking down on her. The last words Betsy Sue thought she heard… wake up… proper respect… attitude adjustment.

*****

Betsy Sue sat on the front porch with her parents and grandparents in the heat of the long afternoon. Seated in a comfortable porch chair next to the table holding the silver-serving tray containing the pitcher of iced tea, she chatted idly while sipping from her glass. Her elders sat in the opposing swings. They all dressed appropriately in cool linens and cottons. The sound of a car turning slowly on to the drive attracted their collective attention. “Look, dear,” Ms. Mary Ellen advised. “That nice Donnie Conners has come calling. Step inside and get him a glass.”

“Yes ma’am.” Betsy Sue replied as she rose gracefully to her feet. As the car rolled to a respectfully quiet stop, all of the grownups looked at each other and smiled knowingly.

Commentary:

I was asked to write a story that would be distinctly Southern and Gothic. After some thought, I found myself thinking of many of the older people I had met while working on my parent’s hobby farm in Fayette County, TN. Looking back, I found an odd universal opinion of the younger generations. The grandparent age group all admitted to spoiling their children. They wanted them to have all the advantages that they had never had.

The grandparent age group also thought that their grandchildren were basically useless. They had no respect, wore funny clothes, and played their music too loud, you get the picture. I have long had the uneasy feeling that if the older generation had a “magic potion” that would help make the youngsters into decent people that the old folks would use on the youngsters in a minute.

While I am sure that no such potion exists, I still wonder at the true contents of the glass every time I’m offered a tall, frosty glass of sweet tea or lemonade.

Back At The Desk

I have had a very nice night so far with my lovely Desk of Endless Tasks.  A descent sized clean spot has been made in the “To Do” pile.  There is a wonderful feeling to just clearing the time to sit down and just plain and simple get to the tasks stuck in your head.  If you are like me, an over due has a way of getting stuck in my mind and stays there until done.  Even if I am not sure how it is supposed to be done, that doesn’t matter, it just needs to be done.  Bills have been paid and emails answered.  Images have been made and updates uploaded.  New promos have been uploaded and new video materials have been edited.  All in all, a lovely night indeed.

This weeks Geek Tank Radio show was a lot of fun because I had been challenged to cook a Star Wars dish for Geek Eats.  I was dared to cook a porg, the bird/hamster  looking thing from the movie.  After watching the scene, I figured I could replicate the shape with a rock corning game hen.  So I thawed one out and split it in half and ran each half up a skewer from the shin up and out past the wing.  I then made sure that they were stretched out into the proper shape.  Seasoned them with a bit of lemon pepper and french tarragon, then they got baked for 30 minutes at 350f.  The Geek Patrol got past the “cute” factor and a little roast porg was enjoyed live on the show.

Just a reminder: buy my books – it supports my further adventures 🙂

http://www.darkoakpress.com/galenrev.html

galenxlgGalen is the story of an ancient vampire and the two women who enter his life. The first, Maggie, is determined to destroy him in the name of revenge. The second, Brenda, is seduced into the life of the living vampire. Their interactions make for a suspenseful and erotic ride through Galen’s dark world.

Allan Gilbreath takes the classic vampire motif to a whole new level. He spins the familiar legends into a distinctive shape. What really makes this novel work is Gilbreath’s astounding attention to detail. Even the most mundane scenes shimmer with a luxurious light, and the entire story overflows with sensual imagery.

Allan Gilbreath links fantasy with danger and satisfaction with death to excellent effect, and the plot tension between the various characters sets a wonderful stage for the little details that bring it all to life. Galen holds great interest for fans of horror and romance, especially with the kinky edge that characterizes the best vampire erotica.

http://www.darkoakpress.com 
http://www.geektankradio.com 
http://www.cafepress.com/gtrmerchandise

Time is fleeting …

2018 is already flying by.  As I sit here at The Desk of Endless Tasks editing a few more shows for the Dark Oak Press and Media YouTube channel, I see the calendar is further along than I would have thought.  We are already up to mid February.  March is just a few scant weeks away.  My goodness.  At least it will be spring and a bit warmer befroe we know it.

Wow,  thank you all for the amazing response to our update Dark Oak Press and Media YouTube channel. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZeqwiRmndPqhU_ifBYuvfg).  If you are interested in New Orleans, check out Haunted New Orleans.  If you are a bit more for comedy, check out Retro Radio.  If you are a new writer, check out All About Writing.  Don’t worry, we have more content in the works.

Just a reminder, while I am working on new stories, please enjoy my last book.

http://www.darkoakpress.com/allanstory.html

*Discover 19 extraordinary stories ranging from dark fantasy to science fiction and steampunk. Allan Gilbreath has created a stimulating collection of possessed raccoons, doubtful demons, secret potions, Hellish mornings, murderous black holes, dangerous missions, miniature dragons, fake vampires, real ducks, and a cranky detective. This collection showcases Allan’s astounding attention to detail and the sensual imagery his works are famous for.

The Stories:
My House – Enjoy a new house complete with a demonic raccoon.
The Little Demon Doubt – Infidelity and a knife thrower.
Afternoon Lemonade – How to straighten out those pesky teenagers.
By The Numbers – Why you should always stick to the plan.
Just Beneath the Surface – Are you doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons?
Good Intentions – As a matter of fact, the road to Hell is paved by the Good Intentions Paving Company.
Time To Come Out And Play – How do you find something you don’t believe in?
Twilight’s Last Gleaming – If you could travel in time, could you just sit by and watch?
First Impression – How do you make a good first impression with an alien species?
The Glamour Of It All – Now you know how those interstellar cruise ships stay so squeaky clean.
Origins – Accidents and dragons do happen.
Anatidaephobia – Two nuns and a vampire with duck under his arm walk into a bar …
Mr. Crump Don’t Like It – Never play where you get the pay.
The Tale Of Two Shelves – You never know what you can do yourself.
The Smile – A touching moment can happen at any time.
An Odd Demise – A locked room and spontaneous human combustion mystery.
Lepus Europaeus – Jack Lago tries to unravel an Easter mystery.
Toradh Of The Gem – Jack Lago solves the case of thieving faeries.
The Abere – Jack Lago and the beautiful man-eating crocodile woman.

http://www.darkoakpress.com 
http://www.geektankradio.com 
http://www.cafepress.com/gtrmerchandise

Enjoy Halloween With Allan Gilbreath’s Award-Winning Galen Vampire Series!

Dark Oak Press and Media is Promoting Allan Gilbreath’s vampire series in honor of Halloween. Here’s what they have to say about it:

This Halloween Dark Oak invites you to a delightful dinner with Galen. Warning: You just might be the meal. Take a bite into Allan Gilbreath’s  award-winning vampire series and its first two books: Galen and Dark Chances! No sunglasses needed, folks, because we guarantee that Mr. Gilbreath’s vampires don’t sparkle.

GALEN 

GalenGalen is the story of an ancient vampire and the two women who enter his life. The first, Maggie, is determined to destroy him in the name of revenge. The second, Brenda, is seduced into the life of the living vampire. Their interactions make for a suspenseful and erotic ride through Galen’s dark world.

Allan Gilbreath takes the classic vampire motif to a whole new level. He spins the familiar legends into a distinctive shape. What really makes this novel work is Gilbreath’s astounding attention to detail. Even the most mundane scenes shimmer with a luxurious light, and the entire story overflows with sensual imagery.

Allan Gilbreath links fantasy with danger and satisfaction with death to excellent effect, and the plot tension between the various characters sets a wonderful stage for the little details that bring it all to life. Galen holds great interest for fans of horror and romance, especially with the kinky edge that characterizes the best vampire erotica.

Click here for a sample chapter: Chapter One.

For Mature readers. Genre: Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Urban Fantasy

Buy online now at:
Amazon.com
Kindle
Barnes and Noble
Nook

DARK CHANCES

Dark ChancesBrenda never meant to become a living vampire. As a matter of fact, she didn’t even know that they existed. Her only mistake had been to cross paths with an ancient vampire named Galen. He was charming, educated, and irresistible. In the end, she has been seduced, fed on, transformed, and deceived.

Left for dead, Brenda has to learn to survive in the modern world by herself. At war with her new murderous instincts, she has to earn a living, feed, and not wind up in jail or worse. As she navigates through the strip clubs, muggers, and other dark aspects of her new life, Brenda accidently finds herself pursued by bounty hunters that specialize in hunting down her kind.

As she struggles to remain free, Brenda winds up entangled in a growing conflict between other vampires. Now that she has discovered that she is not alone, is she the predator or the prey?

Dark Chances is the second book in Galen Vampire series. Allan Gilbreath continues to drive the classic vampire motif to a whole new level. New characters and situations set a fast pace in this novel without the familiar legends losing the distinctive shape that they took in Galen. Gilbreath’s astounding attention to detail adds an air of intensity and mystery while keeping the sensual imagery his works are famous for providing to the reader.

Allan Gilbreath is known for his ability to link fantasy with danger. He takes the reader into Brenda’s struggle to survive and overcome the tremendous obstacles of just living day-to-day. Gaining control of her murderous blood lust is just the first step in her attempts to adjust to the deadly lifestyle forced upon her. Dark Chances holds great interest for fans of dark fantasy, horror, and paranormal romance.

Click here to read a sample chapter: Preface – Dark Chances.

For Mature readers. Genre: Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Urban Fantasy

Buy online now at:
Amazon.com
Kindle
Barnes and Noble
Nook